Cult Classics II: Monster Mash

Two American backpackers are attacked by a wolf on the English moors. David, the sole survivor, awakens in a London hospital wracked with strange visions and disturbing nightmares. When the full moon rises, David transforms into… well, you know the title of the movie.

The Monster: Werewolf

I know what you’re thinking. “Bold move opening a list of ‘cult classics’ with a critically acclaimed Oscar winner.” What can I say, I don’t play by the rules. But for a horror comedy from the guy who directed Animal House, American Werewolf is weird. It’s sarcastic and jokey, and full of shocking violence. Its atmosphere isn’t spooky—it’s seedy.  It’s a fish-out-of-water comedy where everything feels a little dingy and dangerous.

Then there’s the transformation. Special effects wiz Rick Baker won the first Academy Award for Best Makeup, and he earned it with the scene where David changes into the werewolf. Without the aid of CGI, Baker created a disgustingly real metamorphosis that stretches David’s body to the breaking point as he sprouts fur and fangs. But between the howls, David still gets in a few snappy one-liners.
 

Hellboy is a demon summoned by Rasputin to bring about the Apocalypse. Fortunately for us, he was raised by the kindhearted Dr. Bruttenholm to be an upstanding citizen. Today, Hellboy leads a team of paranormal investigators who fight the forces of evil in the shadows of New York City.

The Monsters: Eldritch Gods

If Hellboy premiered in 2010, when the Marvel Cinematic Universe began to flex its muscles, it might have been a mainstream classic, and not the cult kind. But Hellboy premiered in 2004. It was another year until Batman Begins, four until Iron Man, and audiences didn’t know to do with a superhero who wasn’t named Spiderman. A comic book movie about a crime fighting demon and a fishman voiced by the guy from Frasier? Hellboy appealed to a more niche audience.

And what is that appeal, exactly? It’s really, really fun. Director Guillermo Del Toro spent a lifetime obsessed with schlocky monster movies and underground comics, and you can see it in every frame. He’s been waiting his whole career to make this movie. And star Ron Perlman, who cut his teeth finding subtlety behind mountains of makeup, is clearly having a blast. Perlman's Hellboy is a moody teenager with the voice of a Brooklyn cabbie and the swagger of a young Harrison Ford. It's the role Ron Perlman was born to play, and he knows it.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army is the rare sequel that’s just as good as the original, so check that out while you’re at it. Skip the remake with David Harbor.
 

A group of colorfully named schoolgirls travel to a spooky house that looks suspiciously like a low budget film set. There, they encounter severed heads, evil cats, and vengeful furniture.

The Monster: a Haunted Hausu

House (or Hausu in Japanese) is a Japanese horror-comedy that transcends labels like “good,” “bad,” or “tasteful.” It transcends conventional plot structure. I’d say it transcends space and time, but House definitely feels like a product of 1970s Japan. It’s like an episode of Scooby Doo directed by Sam Raimi with special effects by Salvador Dali.
Rather than trying to describe this movie any further, I’m going to list some of the things that happen:
•    A girl named Melody is eaten by a piano. Her reanimated fingers play a song.
•    A cat shoots lasers from its eyes.
•    A haunted house floods with what is either blood or red Kool-Aid.
•    A man is so frightened that he turns into a pile of bananas.
If that sounds more interesting than, say, a linear narrative, then House may be for you.
 

Slowwitted Park Gang-du has his life turned upside down when a river monster kidnaps his daughter Hyun-seo. Hyun-seo fights for survival in the sewers of Seoul while her father dodges government agents to save his daughter.

The Monsters: Sea Serpent, the Military Industrial Complex

There’s a scene early in The Host that encapsulates the movie’s oddball tone. The Park family is mourning the young Hyun-seo, who has been kidnapped by a sea monster. As the family sobs, they drop to the floor, writhing like a gaggle of Homer Simpsons. Grief gives way to a brawl as they blame each other for the little girl’s fate. It’s very funny and deeply moving.

Director Bong Joon-ho came to international prominence when he won four Academy Awards for 2019’s Parasite. Like that movie, The Host follows a dysfunctional family banding together against a common enemy. And although it's a monster movie, The Host is a gentler film than Parasite, with a sort of Spielberg quality. But don’t expect a happy ending, just a group of small people doing their best against an insurmountable threat.

Like in Parasite, the horrors that the Park family face are stand-ins for real world problems. In the opening scene, scientists dump chemicals into the water supply at a nearby military base, leaving little doubt to the monster's origins. You can kill a monster, but corruption, and coverup? That’s existentially scary.
 

In the 1980s, college student Sam Hughes answers an ad for a last-minute baby-sitting gig. But when she arrives at the client’s creepy house and learns the job isn’t what it seems, Sam starts to get a bad feeling. And then there’s the lunar eclipse that’s all over the news…

Monsters: a House, the Devil…?

The House of the Devil is a meticulously crafted period piece. Director Ti West deftly mimics retro cinematography and editing to tell that most 1980s of horror stories: the babysitter in peril. Any time a filmmaker attempts to copy an earlier era, there’s a risk they’ll cross into unintentional parody. Luckily, House of the Devil never strays into Anchorman territory because, despite the 1980s trappings, it’s a Victorian haunted house story at heart.

Like all good haunted house stories, The House of the Devil takes it’s time, leaning on atmosphere and innuendo to create a sense of unease. It’s a slow burn until it suddenly isn’t. As they say, the devil's in the details.

This mockumentary follows vampires Viago, Vladislav, Deacon, and Petyr as they navigate daily life in Wellington, New Zealand circa 2014.

The Monsters: Vampires, Bad Roommates

Vampires, the most theatrical of monsters, rely on their gothic surroundings to provide their terrifying mystique. Remove them from that context, and vampires are a little annoying. They’re overly formal, with old-fashioned clothes and an unending litany of finicky social norms and dietary restrictions. Outside his castle, Dracula is the roommate of your nightmares.

The vampires in What We Do in the Shadows have been roommates for a long, long time. They have house meetings and snipe about the dirty dishes (covered in blood, of course.) They hate werewolves, and like Stu, a non-vampire IT guy who’s pretty cool. And they fight for territory in Wellington, New Zealand, which is possibly the funniest place for a vampire to live.

There’s also a mournful streak underneath the fanged farce. Transporting a vampire to the real world leaves endless opportunities to joke about mundane things like Twilight and eBay (where vampires do their “dark bidding.”) It also lets Shadows explore how it’d feel to live forever while surrounded by mortal friends and family. But don’t worry, these undead bloodsuckers get a (mostly) happy ending.

If you can't get enough What We Do in the Shadows, try the TV series of the same name. It was made by the same creative team, and follows another group of passive aggressive vamps living in Staten Island.